"I was raised catholic and my catholic priest told me when I was 12 years of age, he said to me, 'God is watching you when you masturbate.' ...I said 'is he a pedophile too father?'" -JImmy Carr

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"I was raised catholic and my catholic priest told me when I was 12 years of age, he said to me, 'God is watching you when you masturbate.' ...I said 'is he a pedophile too father?'" -JImmy Carr

What's the difference between football and rape? Women hate football -JImmy Carr

What's the difference between football and rape?

Women hate football -JImmy Carr

We've all got imaginary friends, I've just grown out of mine. -JImmy Carr

We've all got imaginary friends, I've just grown out of mine. -JImmy Carr

“Lets look at the positive side. Hitler and Pol Pot got a lot of medical research done without having to test on any animals.” Jimmy Carr

“Lets look at the positive side. Hitler and Pol Pot got a lot of medical research done without having to test on any animals.” 

Jimmy Carr

Dwarf Shortage -JImmy Carr

Dwarf Shortage -JImmy Carr

My girlfriend and I had the history conversation the other night. That's right, I told her about everyone from who I lost my virginity to, right up to her. Apparently I should have stopped there though.

My girlfriend and I had the history conversation the other night. That's right, I told her about everyone from who I lost my virginity to, right up to her. Apparently I should have stopped there though.

I've always been brought up with manners. Tap her on the head before you come... -Jimmy Carr

I've always been brought up with manners. Tap her on the head before you come... -Jimmy Carr

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