it is your birthday.

 it is your birthday. -  it is your birthday.  Ron Swanson on birthdays

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it is your birthday.

 it is your birthday.

The whole thing is a scam Birthdays were created by Hallmark to sell cards

The whole thing is a scam Birthdays were created by Hallmark to sell cards

The whole thing is a scam Birthdays were created by Hallmark to sell cards

The whole thing is a scam Birthdays were created by Hallmark to sell cards

I'm a simple man I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.

I'm a simple man I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.

It is your Birthday Drink all the whiskey. Clear liquor is for rich women on diets.

It is your Birthday Drink all the whiskey.
Clear liquor is for rich women on diets.

you're getting even older than my ex-wife, Tammy. And believe me, she's old. and she's a bitch.

you're getting even older than my ex-wife, Tammy. And believe me, she's old. and she's a bitch.

I would slap you, but that's animal abuse.

I would slap you, but that's animal abuse.

On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.

On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.

How long did it take you to come up with that one?

How long did it take you to come up with that one?

Wow you have just achieved a new level of dumb.

Wow you have just achieved a new level of dumb.
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