After she hand-fed me, he carried me around until I threw up all over him. Then - I shit you not - I laughed in their faces while they took turns wiping my ass. I got these two idiots wrapped around my little finger, I tells ya...

After she hand-fed me, he carried me around until I threw up all over him.  Then - I shit you not - I laughed in their faces while they took turns wiping my ass. I got these two idiots wrapped around my little finger, I tells ya...  - After she hand-fed me, he carried me around until I threw up all over him.  Then - I shit you not - I laughed in their faces while they took turns wiping my ass. I got these two idiots wrapped around my little finger, I tells ya...   drunk baby

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And then I says to her, I says, No, I got nose. YOUR

And then I says to her, I says, No, I got                nose. YOUR

AND I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS FUCKING JUST COMES OUT OF NOWHERE... EAGLE

AND I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS FUCKING                              JUST COMES OUT OF NOWHERE... EAGLE

SO I was sucking on her tits Then the husband walks in and I just shit myself.

SO I was sucking on her tits Then the husband walks in and I just shit myself.

not only did i suck on her tits in front of her husband she literally wiped my ass after

not only did i suck on her tits in front of her husband she literally wiped my ass after

and i shit you not that plane landed right in my mouth

and i shit you not that plane landed right in my mouth

this one time, I got circumcised... I couldn't walk for two years!

this one time, I got circumcised... I couldn't walk for two years!

so i'm walking home piss drunk and i think to myself "When did i learn to walk?"

so i'm walking home piss drunk and i think to myself

I'm just, i'm just sayin That bitch, Dora. I'd explore it.

I'm just, i'm just sayin That bitch, Dora. I'd explore it.

so then i said "no, this little piggys going to the bar

so then i said

Okay, but just one more beer I have to be up at 3 A.M. tomorrow to wake my parents up

Okay, but just one more beer I have to be up at 3 A.M. tomorrow to wake my parents up
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