14,832 shares
Crossing a one-way street Looks both ways
174,793 shares
Hits snooze on on the alarm clock Spends the next 9 minutes wide awake worrying it accidently turned off
192,606 shares
farts in public when it's cold out checks ass to see if steam came out
170,038 shares
Read about diseases with one in a million prevalence Convinced I have at least six of them
106,736 shares
Slight chest discomfort Better write my will
105,705 shares
3+5? Better use calculator
138,532 shares
Game Auto-Saves Better save it manually just to be sure
434,951 shares
in a room full of people and I need to clear my throat better hold it, or they'll think I have something to say
126,985 shares
Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds
379,561 shares
Thinks something insulting about a stranger Immediately thinks nice things in case they can read minds
253,033 shares
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