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Make eye contact with someone at work Fuck, they know im high
10,398 shares
CTRL+C CTRL+C, CTRL+C, CTRL+C
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Can't find car within 15 seconds It was stolen
14,429 shares
Dog barks while I'm in shower, then stops Murderer just killed her... I'm next
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internet goes out fbi is about to raid
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Slow day at work i'm going to be fired
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About to drive home alone at night checks backseat for serial killer
17,855 shares
girl doesn't text back in five minutes she hates me
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put wallet in pocket pat pocket to make sure it's still there
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can't find childhood friend on Facebook he's dead
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