219,476 shares
Got glasses to correct vision Girlfriend got better looking instead of uglier
172,846 shares
I've been married to a vegetarian for 4 years She cooks meat for me
137,517 shares
been dating a vegitarian for 18 months still eat whatever the fuck i want
196,691 shares
completely forgot and left laptop on top of car still there when i got home
51,228 shares
GF breaks up with me 2 days before leaving on a vacation to Europe the airline feels bad for me, refunds me her ticket
570,149 shares
Got a cute girl's number she texts in complete, articulate sentences
602,921 shares
Driving home from work after a 12 hour shift every traffic light is green
162,337 shares
Broke up with ex-girlfriend a year ago still pays me back the money she owes me, today
125,214 shares
Bought $3 bag of pesos at yard sale worth $160
560,001 shares
Got drunk alone on Valentine's day Didn't call ex girlfriend
231,864 shares
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