274,556 shares
I want to push you down the stairs so you break your legs and call in Then i could cuddle you allllll day
141,303 shares
Comes over for sex Takes the condom when she leaves
410,045 shares
Wow, We've been dating for nine months. We could have had a baby by now.
232,302 shares
I'm making you something really nice for your birthday A baby
386,321 shares
IF we ever adopt, it has to be a boy I don't want you losing interest in me
136,398 shares
I tell all my girlfriends you have a tiny penis so none of them will hit on you
343,719 shares
you're not allowed to wear sunglasses because i need to be able to see if you're looking at other girls
815,887 shares
I got you a GPS car tracking device for your birthday so if you ever get lost I can find you
241,356 shares
i know that you were ordering your food but i hate that you were talking to the waitress
197,779 shares
I'm angry because you gave that girl more attention than me. Even if it was medical attention.
367,715 shares
Laugh more daily