317,268 shares
I found my dad's alter ego account on a message board I purposely troll him and then laugh after he calls me up to complain about the idiots he talks to online.
When women complain about their exes i've never met i usually side with their exes
84,218 shares
I tell my girlfriend I make much lower than I actually do So I don't have to spend as much on her.
79,753 shares
The only reason I still use Facebook is so I can watch the people I hate become failures at life
183,115 shares
When Someone tells me she is a strong independent woman I actually think she's just very lonely
146,070 shares
I only want to take up running so I can eat more.
113,880 shares
I only open the passenger door for my girlfriend when I need to walk around the car to fart before I get in.
190,818 shares
When I have an argument with my girlfriend I tighten the top of every jar and bottle in the house
467,986 shares
I'm overly polite to people who work in fast food because I know their job is horrible
155,077 shares
I ACTUALLY ENJOY COOKING FOR MY HUSBAND BUT ACT LIKE IT'S A PAIN, SO HE FEELS GUILTY AND DOES MORE ERRANDS AROUND THE HOUSE
178,240 shares
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