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Make eye contact with someone at work Fuck, they know im high
10,497 shares
CTRL+C CTRL+C, CTRL+C, CTRL+C
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Can't find car within 15 seconds It was stolen
14,531 shares
Dog barks while I'm in shower, then stops Murderer just killed her... I'm next
21,520 shares
internet goes out fbi is about to raid
11,845 shares
Slow day at work i'm going to be fired
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About to drive home alone at night checks backseat for serial killer
17,955 shares
girl doesn't text back in five minutes she hates me
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put wallet in pocket pat pocket to make sure it's still there
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can't find childhood friend on Facebook he's dead
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