Asked girlfriend where she wanted to eat She gave a decisive answer
Have to babysit a kid Sleeps the whole time, get paid to pet a cat
Justin Bieber says he is the Kurt Cobain of his generation we all know how this ends
Girls you used to date getting pregnant. None are yours.
Got a full body massage Didn't pop a boner
Carried laundry from laundry room to bedroom without dropping a sock
Got made fun of for wearing sunscreen Only one of my friends who isnt a lobster right now
Got a free beer at the bar. Don't even have boobs.
Air conditioner at work broken Hot co worker takes off shirt and leaves only skimpy tank on
Met up with a girl from the internet she is more attractive than in her pictures
Laugh more daily