WOKE UP

WOKE UP - WOKE UP AFTER ZONK CHECK FOR BRUISES AND PHOTOS OF UFOS Foul Bachelor Frog

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I'm hitting new lows

NO CLEAN DISHES  CLIPBOARD OF SPAGHETTI

Off to a good start

PASSED OUT DRUNK WITH HALF OF A BURRITO IN MY POCKET BREAKFAST IN BED

My struggle

TOO LAZY TO COOK FOOD, TOO POOR TO GO OUT  STARVE

I have a few regrets about how I spent my summer.

LEFT THE HOUSE TO BUY A COKE THAT'S ENOUGH PRODUCTIVITY FOR THE DAY

cheese doodle falls pick it up with your foot and eat it

 cheese doodle falls pick it up with your foot and eat it

Shirt has wrinkles? Wearing it should fix that

Shirt has wrinkles? Wearing it should fix that

Anything can be turned into a sandwich... ANYTHING

Anything can be turned into a sandwich... ANYTHING

Roommate moves out can now Masturbate anywhere

Roommate moves out can now Masturbate anywhere

fell asleep in yesterday's clothes woke up in today's clothes

fell asleep in yesterday's clothes  woke up in today's clothes

What's 10 inches long, hard as a rock, full of sperm and makes women scream? The sock under my bed

What's 10 inches long, hard as a rock, full of sperm and makes women scream?  The sock under my bed
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