9336 shares
Ahhh, doesn't this bed feel all warm and cozy? And don't worry... I'm pretty sure you locked the front door.
71,257 shares
Oh, you just got over that crush of yours? How about I dream a looong, super realistic dream about you two hooking up?
51,523 shares
Hey bro, remember the answer you couldn't remember on that test you just finished? I think now is a better time to tell you what it was
46,641 shares
Yo bro, doesn't it suck that your ex is with someone else? Let's think about that again in five seconds.
50,517 shares
Go downstairs in the dark to get water Hey bro, lets think about the scariest movie you've ever seen
29,508 shares
Finally lets you dream about having your way with that one sexy redhead Starts dream two minutes before alarm clock goes off
60,266 shares
Knows literally everything about me Uses this information to give me perfectly-crafted nightmares
271,220 shares
Able to heal your wounds Makes picking scabs feel good
56,554 shares
Sees that you're having a bad day Reminds you of every mistake you've ever made
26,862 shares
Great friends, OK family, no financial problems, endless possibilities YOU SHOULD PROBABLY KILL YOURSELF
328,630 shares
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