9186 shares
Your steak is too bloody? Give it one of your tampons
296,385 shares
Pour me a glass of whiskey, son i have to take me heart medication.
222,371 shares
The reason I only had one heart attack Was because my heart wasn't such a dumbass to attack me twice
550,122 shares
Im allergic to whiskey It makes my knuckles bleed
363,043 shares
Your mom's out of town this week Today's meal shall be steak with a side of shut the fuck up
208,578 shares
i see you shaved i'm sorry the weight of being a man was too much for you
204,842 shares
It took you 2 trips to take out the garbage? Was your tampon weighing you down?
405,800 shares
tumblr? last time i tumbled was over a pile of bodies in korea
268,149 shares
shot glasses? you mean sippy cups?
277,709 shares
Why do i need to know how to sew? My cuts don't stitch themselves
117,561 shares
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