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My father's been proud of me for finally integrating into my step-family. My step-family's proud of my step-grandfather for having a hobby other than gambling. His gambling addiction almost tore their family apart.

My father's been proud of me for finally integrating into my step-family. My step-family's proud of my step-grandfather for having a hobby other than gambling. His gambling addiction almost tore their family apart. - MY NEW STEP-MOTHER'S FATHER AND I HAVE CONVINCED OUR FAMILY THAT WE GO TO THE OPERA EVERY SINGLE NIGHT ON THE WEEKEND. WE GO TO SHADY BARS AND I HUSTLE PEOPLE AT POOL, HE'S MY STAKEHORSE. Confession Bear
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9191 shares

I have a good memory But I pretend I do not remember to avoid being considered as a stalker.

I have a good memory But I pretend I do not remember to avoid being considered as a stalker.
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615,172 shares

I tell dumb people I don't know how to do something Because its difficult to explain it to them

I tell dumb people I don't know how to do something Because its difficult to explain it to them
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314,819 shares

Sometimes I don't wash my hands in public bathrooms Because I trust my penis more than I trust the things I'd have to touch to wash my hands

Sometimes I don't wash my hands in public bathrooms Because I trust my penis more than I trust the things I'd have to touch to wash my hands
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253,524 shares

I dont delete trashy/ghetto facebook friends because their statuses make me feel better about myself.

I dont delete trashy/ghetto facebook friends because their statuses make me feel better about myself.
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236,052 shares

when ever i only see white people around i assume im in a good neighbourhood

when ever i only see white people around i assume im in a good neighbourhood
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260,606 shares

I keep the one tie i own, tied. because i don't know how to retie it.

I keep the one tie i own, tied. because i don't know how to retie it.
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165,955 shares

I fart in my boss’s office every morning before she arrives, and now she has facilities checking the walls for dead animals

I fart in my boss’s office every morning before she arrives, and now she has facilities checking the walls for dead animals
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764,468 shares

I kind of wish Rihanna gets beat by Chris Brown again so that she might learn this time

I kind of wish Rihanna gets beat by Chris Brown again so that she might learn this time
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279,854 shares

IF YOU WRITE "U" INSTEAD OF "YOU" I IMMEDIATELY ASSUME YOU'RE AN IDIOT

IF YOU WRITE
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186,000 shares

If you let your kids run around a restaurant unattended I immediately assume that you're a terrible parent

If you let your kids run around a restaurant unattended I immediately assume that you're a terrible parent
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160,620 shares

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