He's bigger than I am. I would have needed to sprint to catch up...

He's bigger than I am. I would have needed to sprint to catch up... - ESTRANGED LOVE SURPRISES ME ON MY NIGHTLY JOG MANY YEARS SINCE WE LAST MET STARTLED, I FROZE WITH MY EYES WIDE OPEN. HE THEN FINISHED HIS ONE LAP REALLY FAST AND LEFT, NOT TO BE SEEN AGAIN. Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

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MAKES HALLOWE'EN COSTUME BASED ON MEME SPENDS ENTIRE NIGHT EXPLAINING INTERNET JOKES TO PEOPLE

MAKES HALLOWE'EN COSTUME BASED ON MEME SPENDS ENTIRE NIGHT EXPLAINING INTERNET JOKES TO PEOPLE

Asks a good question in class Too much adrenaline to listen to the answer

Asks a good question in class Too much adrenaline to listen to the answer

holds door for girl to mens room

holds door for girl to mens room

has awesome idea for Halloween costume doesn't get invited to any halloween parties

has awesome idea for Halloween costume doesn't get invited to any halloween parties

Thinks up amazingly witty and sarcastic response stutters and mixes up words saying it

Thinks up amazingly witty and sarcastic response stutters and mixes up words saying it

THINK OF AMAZINGLY WITTY SARCASTIC RESPONSE EVERYONE AROUND IS TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND

THINK OF AMAZINGLY WITTY SARCASTIC RESPONSE EVERYONE AROUND IS TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND

Cooks romantic dinner for girlfriend gives her food poisoning

Cooks romantic dinner for girlfriend gives her food poisoning

Maintains perfect eye contact during conversation Didn't capture a single word she said

Maintains perfect eye contact during conversation Didn't capture a single word she said

cute cashier asks "Can I get your number?" Me: "Sure, we can hang out" She needs it because the cash register is asking for it.

cute cashier asks

Hot girl: I heard you've got a big penis. Me: oh that's just a rumor

Hot girl:  I heard you've got a big penis. Me:  oh that's just a rumor
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