9175 shares
I said I was leaving him he told me he'd tie a red balloon to me and find me later
330,701 shares
I asked him how we could spice up our sex life he said that he wanted to get to fifth base
16,920 shares
told him i was pregnant with twins he named them first and repost
25,705 shares
Makes "why not zoidberg?" joke calls her a karma whore
26,774 shares
I told him that we were in a book He told me that he knew already because he saw it on Reddit
202,408 shares
he spends $59.95 on groceries at walmart every week the fridge is always empty
632,831 shares
Asked him if he wanted to see the dolphin outside he just murmured something about crafty hurricanes
15,039 shares
i told him i was pregnant he just yelled "the price of children is too damn high!"
19,766 shares
asked him if he wanted to try something new he said: why not Zoidberg?
25,039 shares
I asked him if he wanted some cucumber He said "I know where that's been"
20,514 shares
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