9173 shares
I maintain good relationships with exes for the sole reason of potentially having sex with them again
179,479 shares
I ran Over The Neighbor's Cat And Later Helped Them Put Up "Missing" Posters
415,839 shares
When i see little people I want to jump over them
119,940 shares
Sometimes I have beer and ice cream for breakfast Just to remind myself I am an adult
177,355 shares
I wish I had a girlfriend Just to have someone to cuddle with
139,646 shares
When I see someone wearing anything Tap Out I assume they are a douche
175,080 shares
When I see 30 pictures of someone's DIY project I skip straight to the end to see how it worked out.
198,079 shares
Anytime I hear someone is religious I automatically think of them as less intelligent
526,215 shares
I use Self-checkout So people working there don't judge my purchases
154,227 shares
I won't tell my wife to go make me a sandwich because I make better sandwiches
124,049 shares
Laugh more daily
