I need a man

I need a man - I CAN'T RESCUE MYSELF, WASH MY OWN BACK, KISS MYSELF, SURPRISE MYSELF, EAT MYSELF, CUDDLE MYSELF, PROTECT MYSELF, SCARE PEOPLE OFF FOR ME, NOR ADORE MYSELF WITHOUT TRYING TO CHANGE MYSELF... I NEED A MAN . overly manly man

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what do I have next to my steak? my other steak

what do I have next to my steak? my other steak

Giant redwoods? you mean toothpicks?

Giant redwoods? you mean toothpicks?

How many push-ups can I do? All of them

How many push-ups can I do? All of them

Push ups? You mean earth downs?

Push ups? You mean earth downs?

If humans are God's arms and legs I must be his penis

If humans are God's arms and legs I must be his penis

My best vacation? France, 1944

My best vacation? France, 1944

I drink Bud Light When I am trying to sober up

I drink Bud Light When I am trying to sober up

You sleep with your phone? when i was your age i slept with girls

You sleep with your phone? when i was your age i slept with girls

I survived the Depression, D-Day and lung cancer You will survive your girlfriend dumping you

I survived the Depression, D-Day and lung cancer You will survive your girlfriend dumping you

We had a study abroad when I was a kid... We called it Vietnam

We had a study abroad when I was a kid... We called it Vietnam
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