So a tree branch landed on my roof.

So a tree branch landed on my roof. - HEARS A BUMP IN THE NIGHT AND SCRAMBLES OUT OF BED TO PROTECT WIFE. ACCIDENTALLY ELBOWS WIFE IN THE EYE AND HAS TO EXPLAIN THE SHINER TO THE VISITING MOTHER IN-LAW. Bad Luck Brian

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teacher asks "who would do such a horrible thing to a woman?" and turns around to look at the class Had hand raised to ask a question

teacher asks

Flips pillow it's warm

Flips pillow it's warm

Performs sexual favor for professor Gets lower grade

Performs sexual favor for professor Gets lower grade

Makes out with hot chick at the bar She gets a boner

Makes out with hot chick at the bar She gets a boner

looks on the bright side goes blind

looks on the bright side goes blind

Runs with scissors gets hit by bus.

Runs with scissors  gets hit by bus.

Surfs the web Drowns

Surfs the web Drowns

drives 3 hours away from home to give girl present "you're a great friend"

drives 3 hours away from home to give girl present

Goes to stripclub Mom works there

Goes to stripclub Mom works there

Emails entire class free textbook arrested for copyright infringement

Emails entire class free textbook arrested for copyright infringement
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