9112 shares
Your steak is too bloody? Give it one of your tampons
296,101 shares
Pour me a glass of whiskey, son i have to take me heart medication.
222,089 shares
The reason I only had one heart attack Was because my heart wasn't such a dumbass to attack me twice
549,873 shares
Im allergic to whiskey It makes my knuckles bleed
362,778 shares
Your mom's out of town this week Today's meal shall be steak with a side of shut the fuck up
208,298 shares
i see you shaved i'm sorry the weight of being a man was too much for you
204,580 shares
It took you 2 trips to take out the garbage? Was your tampon weighing you down?
405,504 shares
tumblr? last time i tumbled was over a pile of bodies in korea
267,851 shares
shot glasses? you mean sippy cups?
277,448 shares
Why do i need to know how to sew? My cuts don't stitch themselves
117,281 shares
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