9581 shares
Once you go black friday shopping with me you will find some great bargains
24,483 shares
I jacked that lady's car up so i could change the flat tire
425,860 shares
Die pig! Die! Damn, Angry Birds is tough.
56,219 shares
I drive drunk Friends home from the bar so they don't have to pay for a cab
67,132 shares
I need another 40 pages to finish my doctoral thesis
15,675 shares
everyday im shuffling my schedule so i can fit in more time for golf at the country club
28,223 shares
I left my pregnant girlfriend chocolates and a new novel before leaving for work today.
68,342 shares
They see me rolling down the window to ask for directions, and they immediately stop and help me out. The people in this city are so friendly.
27,674 shares
What did you just say? How about I shoot you A text because the reception in this building is awful right now
134,129 shares
Fuck the police I prefer sting's solo albums
293,966 shares
Laugh more daily