9208 shares
Oh, so you want to sleep? Here are some thoughts about life, the universe and what you become when you die
98,980 shares
Did you just turn that test in? Because I finally figured out how to solve that problem and man, did you fuck up.
507,944 shares
Oh, class is ending? I'll make sure the erection is ready.
399,313 shares
Oh your alarm clock is going off? Let me just add the sound to your dream
53,657 shares
sets alarm for seven Wakes up at 4:00, 5:00 and 6:00 to check the time OVERSLEEPS
352,515 shares
Falls back asleep after turning alarm off Makes you dream that you got up and got ready for work
155,889 shares
Doesn't have any pain receptors Gives you a headache just to show you who's lord and master of your universe
84,916 shares
Convinces you to do something Then makes you feel bad for doing it
244,864 shares
Carrying something you can't just put down Heres an itch 4 different places on your body
145,254 shares
Finally falling asleep realizes something you said earlier in the day could be horribly misinterpreted
287,766 shares
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