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Couldn't find my car in the parking lot Because I couldn't remember which one I drove today.
90,683 shares
the 90 inch HD tv i've just bought won't fit in my porsche
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the channel i switch to during commercials is also showing commercials
435,401 shares
I dropped my Macbook On my other Macbook
623,977 shares
I went to the bathroom at work and forgot my phone at my desk
66,470 shares
my vibrator battery died now it's a dildo
183,569 shares
looking in the fridge "the fridge is too full of food to find what I'm looking for"
264,505 shares
Lost my job, got new job same day No time for vacation.
79,820 shares
i'm so hungry but i just brushed my teeth
51,776 shares
I want to take a yoga class but i cant trust my farts
197,974 shares
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