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Roses are red, I'm having a baby. Marry me now, or I'll say that you raped me.
460,801 shares
Is it nice touching what your child will one day drink milk from?
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I save all your voicemails and listen to them every morning
47,697 shares
When I die I want you to die too
195,017 shares
Told my girlfriend we could probably afford a vacation in about a year. Oh, you mean for our honeymoon?
50,897 shares
You should give me a picture of your younger self So i can tell people we have a child
314,481 shares
You say restraining order i say long distance relationship
483,891 shares
Sure you can have "boy's night out" 32 text messages, 45 missed calls, 18 voicemails
274,591 shares
I'm going to learn all your mom's favorite recipes So you'll never need her again
871,024 shares
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