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Couldn't find my car in the parking lot Because I couldn't remember which one I drove today.
90,689 shares
the 90 inch HD tv i've just bought won't fit in my porsche
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the channel i switch to during commercials is also showing commercials
435,404 shares
I dropped my Macbook On my other Macbook
623,982 shares
I went to the bathroom at work and forgot my phone at my desk
66,477 shares
my vibrator battery died now it's a dildo
183,576 shares
looking in the fridge "the fridge is too full of food to find what I'm looking for"
264,511 shares
Lost my job, got new job same day No time for vacation.
79,829 shares
i'm so hungry but i just brushed my teeth
51,781 shares
I want to take a yoga class but i cant trust my farts
197,978 shares
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