Oh dear lord

Oh dear lord - ........................ YOU HAVE TO BE F$%#ING KIDDING ME Confession kid

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WHEN I WAS A LITTLE, I FOUND A USED CONDOM AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A SNAKE SKIN I STRETCHED IT OVER MY ARM AND CALLED MY SELF SNAKE MAN

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE, I FOUND A USED CONDOM AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A SNAKE SKIN I STRETCHED IT OVER MY ARM AND CALLED MY SELF SNAKE MAN

WHEN I WAS A KID... I loved the smell of my vagina. So I stuck my finger in my vagina and made my grandma smell my finger.

WHEN I WAS A KID... I loved the smell of my vagina. So I stuck my finger in my vagina and made my grandma smell my finger.

I ate leaves as a kid because the tree stars from the land before time looked delicious

I ate leaves as a kid because the tree stars from the land before time looked delicious

I thought saying "Jacking off" was synonymous with "slacking off" When my teacher asked where my homework was, I told her "Sorry I jacked off this weekend"

I thought saying

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE, I FOUND MY MOMS VIBRATOR, AND SHE TOLD IT WAS A HAND MASSAGER I PLAYED WITH IT FOR HOURS, AND EVEN PUT IT IN MY MOUTH

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE, I FOUND MY MOMS VIBRATOR, AND SHE TOLD IT WAS A HAND MASSAGER I PLAYED WITH IT FOR HOURS, AND EVEN PUT IT IN MY MOUTH

I thought 'bondage' was just another form of the word bonding... and told friends and teachers about weekend family bondage

I thought 'bondage' was just another form of the word bonding... and told friends and teachers about weekend family bondage

WHEN I WAS A KID... I took a shit in the backyard because I wanted to be like my dog.

WHEN I WAS A KID... I took a shit in the backyard because I wanted to be like my dog.

I took all the change from the tables at a restaurant and told my mom "I can't believe everyone just forgets their change!"

I took all the change from the tables at a restaurant and told my mom

Saw naked painting at museum with family Screamed across crowded room, "Mommy those look like yours"

Saw naked painting at museum with family Screamed across crowded room,

MY PARENTS TOLD ME I WAS GOING ON A TRIP TO SEATTLE FOR THE ENTIRE DRIVE I KEPT ASKING WHO ATTLE WAS.

MY PARENTS TOLD ME I WAS GOING ON A TRIP TO SEATTLE FOR THE ENTIRE DRIVE I KEPT ASKING WHO ATTLE WAS.
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