9221 shares
Your steak is too bloody? Give it one of your tampons
296,233 shares
Pour me a glass of whiskey, son i have to take me heart medication.
222,208 shares
The reason I only had one heart attack Was because my heart wasn't such a dumbass to attack me twice
549,992 shares
Im allergic to whiskey It makes my knuckles bleed
362,898 shares
Your mom's out of town this week Today's meal shall be steak with a side of shut the fuck up
208,430 shares
i see you shaved i'm sorry the weight of being a man was too much for you
204,713 shares
It took you 2 trips to take out the garbage? Was your tampon weighing you down?
405,639 shares
tumblr? last time i tumbled was over a pile of bodies in korea
267,978 shares
shot glasses? you mean sippy cups?
277,566 shares
Why do i need to know how to sew? My cuts don't stitch themselves
117,415 shares
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