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for the record penguin

for the record penguin - TO PREVENT ACTUAL THREATS TO THE USA PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT HAVE TO PUT THEIR NECK OUT ON THE LINE OR DO PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY STUFF. ALL POLITICIANS WANT IS POSITIVE PROPAGANDA FOR THEIR CHURCH. THEN POLITICIANS PLAY YOU OFF HOWEVER THEY WANT ONCE YOU GO AGAINST POLITICAL PROPAG Socially Awkward Penguin
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990 shares

Use cough to cover fart in class Cough way too early

Use cough to cover fart in class Cough way too early
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26,252 shares

hates being the center of attention number 1 desire in life

hates being the center of attention number 1 desire in life
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19,386 shares

the awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid

the awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid
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678,940 shares

doorbell rings hide

doorbell rings hide
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62,034 shares

"HERE, HOLD THE BABY" NO WAY, THAT IS TOO MUCH GOD DAMN PRESSURE
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31,952 shares

needs 30 minutes for a 2 sentence text message

needs 30 minutes for a 2 sentence text message
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13,258 shares

Introduce GIrl you like to friends, be nervous she won't like them oh no, she likes them too much

Introduce GIrl you like to friends, be nervous she won't like them oh no, she likes them too much
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100,973 shares

falls off the treadmill starts doing crunches

falls off the treadmill starts doing crunches
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112,309 shares

Needs to record new voicemail greeting Writes script and rehearses an hour beforehand

Needs to record new voicemail greeting Writes script and rehearses an hour beforehand
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15,153 shares

Press wrong button on crowded elevator get off on wrong floor

Press wrong button on crowded elevator get off on wrong floor
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21,550 shares

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