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for the record penguin

for the record penguin - OUR PARENTING STYLE IS THAT BAD IN THE USA. OUR GREATNESS COMES OUT OF PURE STUPIDITY. AMERICANS HAVE A METAPHORICAL MATRIX THEIR ENTIRE LIFE. ONCE THEY GET OUT OF IT, WATCH OUT. THE ONLY WAY CHRISTIANS HAVE POWER IS IF THEIR IS A MATRIX. PASTORS THINK THEY SHOULD CONTROL EVERY SINGLE SOCIAL INTERACTION IN THE USA. THAT IS HOW DUMB OF A COU Socially Awkward Penguin
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9121 shares

I didn't get a great sleep last night.

LOUD PEOPLE OUTSIDE KEPT ME AWAKE ADRENALINE RUSH OF ASKING THEM TO BE QUITE ALSO KEPT ME AWAKE
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15,604 shares

Socially awkward penguin strikes again!

GETS IN A FIGHT MAKES SOUND EFFECTS
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14,621 shares

I should just drop out of college now...

GUY I HAVE A CRUSH ON SINCE FOREVER FINALLY SAYS HI IN CLASS
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15,508 shares

Oh God Why

STALKS CRUSH ON FACEBOOK ACCIDENTALLY LIKES STATUS FROM 2009
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15,711 shares

Guys I messed up bad...

FARTS IN FRONT OF JEWISH FRIEND AND SHE GETS OFFENDED. SAYS
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14,839 shares

Remembers joke at urinal looks like I'm laughing at my own penis

Remembers joke at urinal looks like I'm laughing at my own penis
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21,172 shares

Reads SAP memes Identifies with most

Reads SAP memes Identifies with most
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18,134 shares

Tries to imagine interviewers naked gets boner

Tries to imagine interviewers naked gets boner
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20,215 shares

Tells coworker she's lost weight as a compliment Miscarriage

Tells coworker she's lost weight as a compliment Miscarriage
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294,448 shares

Person walking in front opens door for me 4 times in a row "Thanks, Thanks, Thanks, Thank You"

Person walking in front opens door for me 4 times in a row
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202,446 shares

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