for the record penguin

for the record penguin - OUR PARENTING STYLE IS THAT BAD IN THE USA. OUR GREATNESS COMES OUT OF PURE STUPIDITY. AMERICANS HAVE A METAPHORICAL MATRIX THEIR ENTIRE LIFE. ONCE THEY GET OUT OF IT, WATCH OUT. THE ONLY WAY CHRISTIANS HAVE POWER IS IF THEIR IS A MATRIX. PASTORS THINK THEY SHOULD CONTROL EVERY SINGLE SOCIAL INTERACTION IN THE USA. THAT IS HOW DUMB OF A COU Socially Awkward Penguin

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goes to hold open door for hot girl automatic door.

goes to hold open door for hot girl automatic door.

accidentally runs into chair "sorry"

accidentally runs into chair

Sees friend in the distance looks away until he's close enough to say hello

Sees friend in the distance looks away until he's close enough to say hello

Held the men's restroom door open for a girl walking by

Held the men's restroom door open for a girl walking by

Waiter reaches for menu after ordering Shakes hand

Waiter reaches for menu after ordering Shakes hand

say your goodbyes walk faster in the same direction

say your goodbyes walk faster in the same direction

Tells friend joke realizes he heard it from them

Tells friend joke realizes he heard it from them

Finished pooping in Public Restroom waits for person at urinal to leave before exiting stall

Finished pooping in Public Restroom waits for person at urinal to leave before exiting stall

Tries to compliment female colleague "there are fatter girls than you"

Tries to compliment female colleague

"come to the front of the auditorium to get your award" oh god no

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