for the record penguin

for the record penguin -  JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR THE ORACLE HOUSEWIFE DURING THE AGES OF 20-30 PICKS AND CHOOSES WHEN SHE WANTS TO BANG THE CREEPY OLD GUY. THE ORACLE IS MUCH MORE LIKELY TO BANG THE CREEPY OLD GUY IF HE HAS SIX PACK ABS. THAT WOULD MAKE THE CREEPY OLD GUY KINDA A DIL Socially Awkward Penguin

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order food at Taco Bell at 1am Act stoned at the drive-thru window to seem normal

order food at Taco Bell at 1am Act stoned at the drive-thru window to seem normal

Clears throat before speaking Voice cracks anyway

Clears throat before speaking Voice cracks anyway

Pull up to gas pump on the wrong side of car leave the gas station

Pull up to gas pump on the wrong side of car leave the gas station

Cute girl at other table keeps staring at me realize later the tv is behind me

Cute girl at other table keeps staring at me realize later the tv is behind me

"you apologize too much" sorry

Class room attendance Rehearses saying "here" in his head

Class room attendance Rehearses saying

People want their year books signed Oh god

People want their year books signed Oh god

someone is in the front of the thing you want pretend to look at something else until they move

someone is in the front of the thing you want pretend to look at something else until they move

Sees homeless person in distance reaches in pocket and holds change to make sure it doesn't jingle when i walk by

Sees homeless person in distance reaches in pocket and holds change to make sure it doesn't jingle when i walk by

Practices order while in line still gets it wrong

Practices order while in line still gets it wrong
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