for the record penguin

for the record penguin -  JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR THE ORACLE HOUSEWIFE DURING THE AGES OF 20-30 PICKS AND CHOOSES WHEN SHE WANTS TO BANG THE CREEPY OLD GUY. THE ORACLE IS MUCH MORE LIKELY TO BANG THE CREEPY OLD GUY IF HE HAS SIX PACK ABS. THAT WOULD MAKE THE CREEPY OLD GUY KINDA A DIL Socially Awkward Penguin

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give coworker ride home silence the whole drive

give coworker ride home silence the whole drive

Neighborhood BBQ Stand next to mother until it's time to leave

Neighborhood BBQ Stand next to mother until it's time to leave

Lab partner with hot girl don't look, don't talk, don't breath

Lab partner with hot girl don't look, don't talk, don't  breath

Walking down the street with friend while jogger runs by end all conversation

Walking down the street with friend while jogger runs by end all conversation

Sees people walking ahead Slows down so don't have to pass

Sees people walking ahead Slows down so don't have to pass

order a coke, they bring a sprite. "thank you"

order a coke, they bring a sprite.

calls shotgun first ends up in the backseat

calls shotgun first ends up in the backseat

Order food to go Eat in car in parking lot

Order food to go Eat in car in parking lot

Go to reddit meetup browse reddit on phone

Go to reddit meetup browse reddit on phone

Wave back to friendly girl Wasn't waving to you

Wave back to friendly girl Wasn't waving to you
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