for the record penguin

for the record penguin -  THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN BECOME A CHAPLAIN IN THE USA MILITARY IS IF YOU ARE THE BIGGEST CONSERVATIVE ON THE PLANET. CONSERVATIVES HATE LIBERALS. CHAPLAINS IN THE MILITARY TAKE DIRECT ORDERS FROM POLITICIANS. SO GET A MODERATE AGNOSTIC TO TAKE ORDERS FROM LIB Socially Awkward Penguin

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Use cough to cover fart in class Cough way too early

Use cough to cover fart in class Cough way too early

hates being the center of attention number 1 desire in life

hates being the center of attention number 1 desire in life

the awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid

the awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid

doorbell rings hide

doorbell rings hide

"HERE, HOLD THE BABY" NO WAY, THAT IS TOO MUCH GOD DAMN PRESSURE

needs 30 minutes for a 2 sentence text message

needs 30 minutes for a 2 sentence text message

Introduce GIrl you like to friends, be nervous she won't like them oh no, she likes them too much

Introduce GIrl you like to friends, be nervous she won't like them oh no, she likes them too much

falls off the treadmill starts doing crunches

falls off the treadmill starts doing crunches

Needs to record new voicemail greeting Writes script and rehearses an hour beforehand

Needs to record new voicemail greeting Writes script and rehearses an hour beforehand

Press wrong button on crowded elevator get off on wrong floor

Press wrong button on crowded elevator get off on wrong floor
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