for the record penguin

for the record penguin - A USA POLITICIAN DOING AN IDITAROD  BODY DOUBLE DOES RACE WITH SLED DOGS. POLITICIAN TAKES CREDIT. POLITICIAN COVERS UP EVIDENCE AND KILLS ALL BUT 1 SLED DOGS. TURNS THE REMAINING SLED DOG INTO A LAP DOG. HOOKS THE BODY DOUBLE UP WITH A PHONY WIFE AND KILLS THEM BOTH OFF WITH PLAUSIBLE DENI Socially Awkward Penguin

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knows everyone at party still plays with the dog for 3 hours

knows everyone at party still plays with the dog for 3 hours

mistakenly says bye to someone at a party who isn't leaving tells everyone else bye and leaves

mistakenly says bye to someone at a party who isn't leaving  tells everyone else bye and leaves

Say hi to a friend in the supermarket Hide from them for the rest of the time to avoid awkward second "hello".

Say hi to a friend in the supermarket Hide from them for the rest of the time to avoid awkward second

notices a girl's whistle and ask if it's a rape whistle. she says yes. asks "does it work?"

notices a girl's whistle and ask if it's a rape whistle. she says yes. asks

Pass Victoria's Secret at the mall look the other way so people don't think you're a pervert

Pass Victoria's Secret at the mall look the other way so people don't think you're a pervert

Hairdresser is ruining haircut "Looks great, thanks"

Hairdresser is ruining haircut

thinking about a conversation that happened weeks ago Makes corresponding facial expressions and laughs at the funny parts in public

thinking about a conversation that happened weeks ago Makes corresponding facial expressions and laughs at the funny parts in public

Dials someone's number heart starts racing, starts breathing heavily

Dials someone's number heart starts racing, starts breathing heavily

Hold the door for someone thank them

Hold the door for someone thank them

someones shopping cart is blocking the item you wanted to get acts intensely interested in the surrounding items until they move

someones shopping cart is blocking the item you wanted to get acts intensely interested in the surrounding items until they move
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