for the record penguin

for the record penguin - A USA POLITICIAN DOING AN IDITAROD  BODY DOUBLE DOES RACE WITH SLED DOGS. POLITICIAN TAKES CREDIT. POLITICIAN COVERS UP EVIDENCE AND KILLS ALL BUT 1 SLED DOGS. TURNS THE REMAINING SLED DOG INTO A LAP DOG. HOOKS THE BODY DOUBLE UP WITH A PHONY WIFE AND KILLS THEM BOTH OFF WITH PLAUSIBLE DENI Socially Awkward Penguin

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Trying to describe black friend Avoid use of the word "black"

Trying to describe black friend Avoid use of the word

open birthday card pretend not to notice money inside while reading card

open birthday card pretend not to notice money inside while reading card

Phone rings while holding it doesn't pick up immediately to pretend being busy

Phone rings while holding it doesn't pick up immediately to pretend being busy

Trys to hold back sneeze in quiet environment Makes awful alien like noise that gets everyones attention

Trys to hold back sneeze in quiet environment Makes awful alien like noise that gets everyones attention

Call someone check voice while ringing so it doesn't sound funny

Call someone check voice while ringing so it doesn't sound funny

Came out of handicap stall guy in wheelchair was waiting

Came out of handicap stall guy in wheelchair was waiting

Co-worker calls you by the wrong name Fuck it, I guess i'm "Alex" now.

Co-worker calls you by the wrong name Fuck it, I guess i'm

No empty double seats on bus, sits next to stranger Another seat becomes empty, doesn't take it for fear of offending current seat-mate

No empty double seats on bus, sits next to stranger Another seat becomes empty, doesn't take it for fear of offending current seat-mate

Hair cut isn't right "OH YEAH THAT'S NICE THANKS"

Hair cut isn't right

Finishes giving presentation to class Claps with them at the end

Finishes giving presentation to class Claps with them at the end
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