for the record penguin

for the record penguin - A USA POLITICIAN DOING AN IDITAROD  BODY DOUBLE DOES RACE WITH SLED DOGS. POLITICIAN TAKES CREDIT. POLITICIAN COVERS UP EVIDENCE AND KILLS ALL BUT 1 SLED DOGS. TURNS THE REMAINING SLED DOG INTO A LAP DOG. HOOKS THE BODY DOUBLE UP WITH A PHONY WIFE AND KILLS THEM BOTH OFF WITH PLAUSIBLE DENI Socially Awkward Penguin

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Purposefully sit next to cute girl in class Don't say a word to her all semester

Purposefully sit next to cute girl in class Don't say a word to her all semester

left alone with friend of a friend Pretend to text until friend gets back

left alone with friend of a friend Pretend to text until friend gets back

Over hear someone say your name heart starts pumping violently

Over hear someone say your name heart starts pumping violently

left alone with friend of a friend talk about friend until they get back

left alone with friend of a friend talk about friend until they get back

cute girl sits next to you on plane don't say a word the whole flight

cute girl sits next to you on plane don't say a word the whole flight

Of legal age to buy alcohol still acts suspicious when giving cashier id

Of legal age to buy alcohol still acts suspicious when giving cashier id

Positive you know someone's name Still scared to death of using it in case you are wrong

Positive you know someone's name Still scared to death of using it in case you are wrong

Black lady at drive-thru says "Nice color" about my car. "Thanks, you too."

Black lady at drive-thru says

Arrives Early to a house party Sits in car until someone else goes in

Arrives Early to a house party Sits in car until someone else goes in

sitting in awkward silence with a girl says 'awkward' to break the ice

sitting in awkward silence with a girl says 'awkward' to break the ice
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