for the record penguin

for the record penguin - A USA POLITICIAN DOING AN IDITAROD  BODY DOUBLE DOES RACE WITH SLED DOGS. POLITICIAN TAKES CREDIT. POLITICIAN COVERS UP EVIDENCE AND KILLS ALL BUT 1 SLED DOGS. TURNS THE REMAINING SLED DOG INTO A LAP DOG. HOOKS THE BODY DOUBLE UP WITH A PHONY WIFE AND KILLS THEM BOTH OFF WITH PLAUSIBLE DENI Socially Awkward Penguin

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Say Hi To Someone You Recognize At The Supermarket Awkwardly Avoid Them After Seeing Them Again

Say Hi To Someone You Recognize At The Supermarket Awkwardly Avoid Them After Seeing Them Again

Police officer: "Anything to drink tonight sir?" Me: "No thanks."

Police officer:

HOLD DOOR OPEN FOR CUTE GIRL MEN'S BATHROOM

HOLD DOOR OPEN FOR CUTE GIRL MEN'S BATHROOM

Pretty girl compliments your looks Spend entire day avoiding her

Pretty girl compliments your looks Spend entire day avoiding her

friend shows you funny picture he found online pretend to not have seen it months ago on reddit

friend shows you funny picture he found online pretend to not have seen it months ago on reddit

Please see cashier Guess I'm going to a different gas station

Please see cashier Guess I'm going to a different gas station

Subway Girl: "Bread?" Me: "Yes, please."

Subway Girl:

Cute girl in math class says you're funny Explain your mediocrity to her

Cute girl in math class says you're funny Explain your mediocrity to her

Professor calls on student with same name as you be nervous anyway

Professor calls on student with same name as you be nervous anyway

Has to poop at school holds it in for 6 periods to poop at home

Has to poop at school holds it in for 6 periods to poop at home
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