for the record penguin

for the record penguin - A USA POLITICIAN DOING AN IDITAROD  BODY DOUBLE DOES RACE WITH SLED DOGS. POLITICIAN TAKES CREDIT. POLITICIAN COVERS UP EVIDENCE AND KILLS ALL BUT 1 SLED DOGS. TURNS THE REMAINING SLED DOG INTO A LAP DOG. HOOKS THE BODY DOUBLE UP WITH A PHONY WIFE AND KILLS THEM BOTH OFF WITH PLAUSIBLE DENI Socially Awkward Penguin

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Use cough to cover fart in class Cough way too early

Use cough to cover fart in class Cough way too early

hates being the center of attention number 1 desire in life

hates being the center of attention number 1 desire in life

the awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid

the awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid

doorbell rings hide

doorbell rings hide

"HERE, HOLD THE BABY" NO WAY, THAT IS TOO MUCH GOD DAMN PRESSURE

needs 30 minutes for a 2 sentence text message

needs 30 minutes for a 2 sentence text message

Introduce GIrl you like to friends, be nervous she won't like them oh no, she likes them too much

Introduce GIrl you like to friends, be nervous she won't like them oh no, she likes them too much

falls off the treadmill starts doing crunches

falls off the treadmill starts doing crunches

Needs to record new voicemail greeting Writes script and rehearses an hour beforehand

Needs to record new voicemail greeting Writes script and rehearses an hour beforehand

Press wrong button on crowded elevator get off on wrong floor

Press wrong button on crowded elevator get off on wrong floor
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