for the record penguin

for the record penguin - A USA POLITICIAN DOING AN IDITAROD  BODY DOUBLE DOES RACE WITH SLED DOGS. POLITICIAN TAKES CREDIT. POLITICIAN COVERS UP EVIDENCE AND KILLS ALL BUT 1 SLED DOGS. TURNS THE REMAINING SLED DOG INTO A LAP DOG. HOOKS THE BODY DOUBLE UP WITH A PHONY WIFE AND KILLS THEM BOTH OFF WITH PLAUSIBLE DENI Socially Awkward Penguin

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Waitress gets order wrong Well i guess that sounded good too

Waitress gets order wrong Well i guess that sounded good too

Self checkout closed Puts condoms back

Self checkout closed Puts condoms back

receives text from crush x minutes after you sent yours reply back in x minutes to show you're not desperate

receives text from crush x minutes after you sent yours reply back in x minutes to show you're not desperate

Hold door open for person behind you Become human doorstop for next 10 minutes

Hold door open for person behind you Become human doorstop  for next 10 minutes

More Excited When Plans Get Cancelled

More Excited When Plans Get Cancelled

Leave store without buying anything Think the cashier suspects you of stealing

Leave store without buying anything Think the cashier suspects you of stealing

Gets Hit on by girl realizes it 3 years later

Gets Hit on by girl realizes it 3 years later

Remember funny joke, try to hold back laughter Spend next 5 minutes making snorting sounds

Remember funny joke, try to hold back laughter Spend next 5 minutes making snorting sounds

That hot girl you like is online! But you already talked to her for an hour earlier today. Don't talk to her because then you will seem desperate. But then again if you don't then she will think you are not interested and move on. But maybe she doesn't li

That hot girl you like is online! But you already talked to her for an hour earlier today. Don't talk to her because then you will seem desperate. But then again if you don't then she will think you are not interested and move on. But maybe she doesn't li

everyone singing that song that everyone knows Silently move lips and hope no one notices

everyone singing that song that everyone knows Silently move lips and hope no one notices
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