for the record penguin

for the record penguin - A USA POLITICIAN DOING AN IDITAROD  BODY DOUBLE DOES RACE WITH SLED DOGS. POLITICIAN TAKES CREDIT. POLITICIAN COVERS UP EVIDENCE AND KILLS ALL BUT 1 SLED DOGS. TURNS THE REMAINING SLED DOG INTO A LAP DOG. HOOKS THE BODY DOUBLE UP WITH A PHONY WIFE AND KILLS THEM BOTH OFF WITH PLAUSIBLE DENI Socially Awkward Penguin

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spends eight minutes writing and editing the perfect comment doesn't post, goes back to browsing

spends eight minutes writing and editing the perfect comment doesn't post, goes back to browsing

Make a twenty minute presentation Speed talk through it in five

Make a twenty minute presentation Speed talk through it in five

Can't tell if socially awkward or just considerate, respectful, intelligent, unselfish, and aware of how ignorant and shitty most people are.

Can't tell if socially awkward or just considerate,  respectful, intelligent, unselfish, and aware of how ignorant and shitty most people are.

Sees neighbors outside talking waits by the door for them to leave before going outside

Sees neighbors outside talking  waits by the door for them to leave before going outside

Texting girl before the date Runs out of interesting things to say on the date

Texting girl before the date Runs out of interesting things to say on the date

Doesn't recieve immediate reply from a text checks sentbox to make sure you didnt offend them

Doesn't recieve immediate reply from a text checks sentbox to make sure you didnt offend them

Type out elaborate response to crush erase and send "haha" instead

Type out elaborate response to crush erase and send

about to order pizza rehearse out loud before calling

about to order pizza rehearse out loud before calling

Pretends everyone is nude while giving a speech Gets a BONER

Pretends everyone is nude while giving a speech Gets a BONER

"let's go around the room and introduce ourselves" rehearse something in head to sound awesome, says something completely dumb instead

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