for the record penguin

for the record penguin - A USA POLITICIAN DOING AN IDITAROD  BODY DOUBLE DOES RACE WITH SLED DOGS. POLITICIAN TAKES CREDIT. POLITICIAN COVERS UP EVIDENCE AND KILLS ALL BUT 1 SLED DOGS. TURNS THE REMAINING SLED DOG INTO A LAP DOG. HOOKS THE BODY DOUBLE UP WITH A PHONY WIFE AND KILLS THEM BOTH OFF WITH PLAUSIBLE DENI Socially Awkward Penguin

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Saw a girl putting on makeup and said, "why bother" she walked away before I could say "You don't even need it"

Saw a girl putting on makeup and said,

Stranger said girl I was hitting on was way out of my league I was talking to my sister

Stranger said girl I was hitting on was way out of my league I was talking to my sister

on sidewalk, sees car approaching intersection pretends he doesn't want to cross

on sidewalk, sees car approaching intersection pretends he doesn't want to cross

Dream about having a fictional girlfriend Have feelings for her when you wake up

Dream about having a fictional girlfriend Have feelings for her when you wake up

Adds to someone's joke while everyone is laughing Laughing stops immediately

Adds to someone's joke while everyone is laughing Laughing stops immediately

Picks up girlfriend for a romantic spin and kiss trips over feet and throws her into trash can

Picks up girlfriend for a romantic spin and kiss trips over feet and throws her into trash can

Tries to correct teacher in front of 200 students is wrong

Tries to correct teacher in front of 200 students is wrong

Acts like i'm talking on the phone...standing next to cute girl phone rings

Acts like i'm talking on the phone...standing next to cute girl phone rings

Eat lunch in the dining hall by myself Set phone alarm to vibrate every 3 minutes so it looks like I'm texting someone

Eat lunch in the dining hall by myself Set phone alarm to vibrate every 3 minutes so it looks like I'm texting someone

goes to hold open door for hot girl automatic door.

goes to hold open door for hot girl automatic door.
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