for the record penguin

for the record penguin - A USA POLITICIAN DOING AN IDITAROD  BODY DOUBLE DOES RACE WITH SLED DOGS. POLITICIAN TAKES CREDIT. POLITICIAN COVERS UP EVIDENCE AND KILLS ALL BUT 1 SLED DOGS. TURNS THE REMAINING SLED DOG INTO A LAP DOG. HOOKS THE BODY DOUBLE UP WITH A PHONY WIFE AND KILLS THEM BOTH OFF WITH PLAUSIBLE DENI Socially Awkward Penguin

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Uses Self Checkouts To Avoid Human Interaction "Please wait for assistance" - Fuck

Uses Self Checkouts To Avoid Human Interaction

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Please hold while we transfer you to a live operator to handle your question." Hang up

Text myself to remember something Get excited when I receive a new text.

Text myself to remember something Get excited when I receive a new text.

Don't want to ask friend to use his shower Engineer a soap bar to use on the go

Don't want to ask friend to use his shower Engineer a soap bar to use on the go

Group of kids blocking locker Keeps walking

Group of kids blocking locker Keeps walking

Puts anti-perspirant Deodorant on hands before job interview

Puts anti-perspirant Deodorant on hands before job interview

Sweating because he's nervous Nevous because he's sweating

Sweating because he's nervous Nevous because he's sweating

afraid you are making her uncomfortable by staring her in the eye. try to look at something else accidentally looks at her breasts

afraid you are making her uncomfortable by staring her in the eye. try to look at something else accidentally looks at her breasts

someone gets off their treadmill right when you were going to two more minutes

someone gets off their treadmill right when you were going to two more minutes

Last day of work Doesn't tell anyone in order to avoid goodbyes

Last day of work Doesn't tell anyone in order to avoid goodbyes
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