for the record penguin

for the record penguin - A USA POLITICIAN DOING AN IDITAROD  BODY DOUBLE DOES RACE WITH SLED DOGS. POLITICIAN TAKES CREDIT. POLITICIAN COVERS UP EVIDENCE AND KILLS ALL BUT 1 SLED DOGS. TURNS THE REMAINING SLED DOG INTO A LAP DOG. HOOKS THE BODY DOUBLE UP WITH A PHONY WIFE AND KILLS THEM BOTH OFF WITH PLAUSIBLE DENI Socially Awkward Penguin

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Doesn't know how to inhale helium properly for desired funny voice effect Makes obvious "pretend" voice

Doesn't know how to inhale helium properly for desired funny voice effect  Makes obvious

Go to a reddit meetup Sit in the corner alone

Go to a reddit meetup Sit in the corner alone

started as socially awkward penguin is now social anxiety disorder penguin

started as socially awkward penguin is now social anxiety disorder penguin

Cell phone rings Pretend to miss call send text instead

Cell phone rings Pretend to miss call send text instead

hear coworkers coming pour coffee faster

hear coworkers coming pour coffee faster

Can't maintain eye contact during conversations makes staring contest with his cat every day

Can't maintain eye contact during conversations makes staring contest with his cat every day

ACCIDENTALLY HIT CALL INSTEAD OF TEXT disconnect immediately in panic

ACCIDENTALLY HIT CALL INSTEAD OF TEXT disconnect immediately in panic

not sure if they are in line at register get behind them anyway, 10 feet from checkout

not sure if they are in line at register get behind them anyway, 10 feet from checkout

watches hair get destroyed by barber says nothing

watches hair get destroyed by barber says nothing

Cash or credit? YES

Cash or credit? YES
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