for the record penguin

for the record penguin - A USA POLITICIAN DOING AN IDITAROD  BODY DOUBLE DOES RACE WITH SLED DOGS. POLITICIAN TAKES CREDIT. POLITICIAN COVERS UP EVIDENCE AND KILLS ALL BUT 1 SLED DOGS. TURNS THE REMAINING SLED DOG INTO A LAP DOG. HOOKS THE BODY DOUBLE UP WITH A PHONY WIFE AND KILLS THEM BOTH OFF WITH PLAUSIBLE DENI Socially Awkward Penguin

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Seminar on shyness do not attend

Seminar on shyness do not attend

TAKING A PISS AT A PARTY Use every bit of focus to aim at the fine line between the water and the toilet seat so no one hears

TAKING A PISS AT A PARTY Use every bit of focus to aim at the fine line between the water and the toilet seat so no one hears

Cooking food in break room microwave Check food and still cold. Don't finish cooking because there is a line behind you.

Cooking food in break room microwave Check food and still cold. Don't finish cooking because there is a line behind you.

Thinking to self how quiet it is in room full of people swallow own spit down wrong pipe, cough incessantly

Thinking to self how quiet it is in room full of people swallow own spit down wrong pipe, cough incessantly

must talk to department chair to avoid retaking a transferred class retake class instead

must talk to department chair to avoid retaking a transferred class retake class instead

passion for photography so buy an expensive camera Too self-conscious to use it around anyone

passion for photography so buy an expensive camera Too self-conscious to use it around anyone

Receive Friend request on facebook Wait at least 12 hours to accept so you look like you have a life outside of the internet

Receive Friend request on facebook Wait at least 12 hours to accept so you look like you have a life outside of the internet

Having an unexpected moment of high self-esteem trip on perfectly flat surface

Having an unexpected moment of high self-esteem trip on perfectly flat surface

"Tell me something unique about yourself." Oh no.

Realize you will pass someone ahead of you in the hall Slow down

Realize you will pass someone ahead of you in the hall Slow down
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