for the record penguin

for the record penguin -  THEN THE POLITICIANS GET CAUGHT KNIGHTING A PHONY PILOT SO THEY MAKE KNIGHTING PEOPLE LOOK STUPID. THEN A CIA OPERATIVE SAVES THE WORLD WHO IS A MODERATE, SO WE KNIGHT HIM/HER. THEN THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN GET KNIGHTED IS IF THEY ARE A FLAMING CONSERVATIVE. Socially Awkward Penguin

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Public Restroom Aim along the edges to minimize sound

Public Restroom Aim along the edges to minimize sound

Several people hanging around coffee machine. Caffeine is bad for you anyway.

Several people hanging around coffee machine. Caffeine is bad for you anyway.

people seem to be staring at you brush hand against fly to check if its open

people seem to be staring at you brush hand against fly to check if its open

See acquaintances walking in front of you walk slower to not run into them

See acquaintances walking in front of you walk slower to not run into them

"I like your shirt" "me too"

bend over ass crack must be exposed, repetitively pull down shirt

bend over ass crack must be exposed, repetitively pull down shirt

Show up an hour late to the party first one there

Show up an hour late to the party first one there

"I'm glad I could help you, and thank you for calling American Express today." "You're welcome."

Buy item on sale and It rings up at regular price Don't say anything and BUY IT ANYWAY

Buy item on sale and
It rings up at regular price Don't say anything and
BUY IT ANYWAY

doorbell rings hide

doorbell rings hide
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