for the record penguin

for the record penguin - THE REAL USA MILITARY RANKING SYSTEM. IN THE FEEL GOOD MILITARY ACCORDING TO THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF. EVERYTHING REAL PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH IS BLACK OPS. ENLISTED: E-1SCUMBAG E-2APPRENTICE SCUMBAG E-3ORC CAPABILITIES IDENTIFIED E-4MAKE OR BREAK RANK E-5PROVE SUAVENESS E-6PROVE LEADERSHIP AWARENESS E-7POLITICAN POTENTIAL AND HARDASS ANALYSIS E-8SETS AGENDA E-9POLITICAL MUPPET OR DIE  UNTRAINED OFFICERS: ADM Socially Awkward Penguin

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knows everyone at party still plays with the dog for 3 hours

knows everyone at party still plays with the dog for 3 hours

mistakenly says bye to someone at a party who isn't leaving tells everyone else bye and leaves

mistakenly says bye to someone at a party who isn't leaving  tells everyone else bye and leaves

Say hi to a friend in the supermarket Hide from them for the rest of the time to avoid awkward second "hello".

Say hi to a friend in the supermarket Hide from them for the rest of the time to avoid awkward second

notices a girl's whistle and ask if it's a rape whistle. she says yes. asks "does it work?"

notices a girl's whistle and ask if it's a rape whistle. she says yes. asks

Pass Victoria's Secret at the mall look the other way so people don't think you're a pervert

Pass Victoria's Secret at the mall look the other way so people don't think you're a pervert

Hairdresser is ruining haircut "Looks great, thanks"

Hairdresser is ruining haircut

thinking about a conversation that happened weeks ago Makes corresponding facial expressions and laughs at the funny parts in public

thinking about a conversation that happened weeks ago Makes corresponding facial expressions and laughs at the funny parts in public

Dials someone's number heart starts racing, starts breathing heavily

Dials someone's number heart starts racing, starts breathing heavily

Hold the door for someone thank them

Hold the door for someone thank them

someones shopping cart is blocking the item you wanted to get acts intensely interested in the surrounding items until they move

someones shopping cart is blocking the item you wanted to get acts intensely interested in the surrounding items until they move
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