for the record penguin

for the record penguin - THE REAL USA MILITARY RANKING SYSTEM. IN THE FEEL GOOD MILITARY ACCORDING TO THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF. EVERYTHING REAL PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH IS BLACK OPS. ENLISTED: E-1SCUMBAG E-2APPRENTICE SCUMBAG E-3ORC CAPABILITIES IDENTIFIED E-4MAKE OR BREAK RANK E-5PROVE SUAVENESS E-6PROVE LEADERSHIP AWARENESS E-7POLITICAN POTENTIAL AND HARDASS ANALYSIS E-8SETS AGENDA E-9POLITICAL MUPPET OR DIE  UNTRAINED OFFICERS: ADM Socially Awkward Penguin

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Hang out with two friends who've never met eachother still the third wheel

Hang out with two friends who've never met eachother still the third wheel

sees friend walking in the distance looks down until they are close enough to say hi

sees friend walking in the distance looks down until they are close enough to say hi

Friend cancels plans for tonight secretly relieved

Friend cancels plans for tonight secretly relieved

Tells friend an interesting story He's the one who told you about it before

Tells friend an interesting story He's the one who told you about it before

Sees awkward moment on tv changes the channel out of empathy

Sees awkward moment on tv changes the channel out of empathy

ask someone a simple question that launches them into a story slowly inch away and hope they stop talking

ask someone a simple question that launches them into a story  slowly inch away and hope they stop talking

I'm sorry for being so apologetic

I'm sorry for being so apologetic

can't understand someone during a conversation laughs and says "yeah" and hopes it's the correct response for what they said

can't understand someone during a conversation laughs and says

"You apologize too much." I'M Sorry

delivery man rings doorbell stays perfectly silent until they leave, then picks up package from porch

delivery man rings doorbell stays perfectly silent until they leave, then picks up package from porch
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