for the record penguin

for the record penguin - THE REAL USA MILITARY RANKING SYSTEM. IN THE FEEL GOOD MILITARY ACCORDING TO THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF. EVERYTHING REAL PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH IS BLACK OPS. ENLISTED: E-1SCUMBAG E-2APPRENTICE SCUMBAG E-3ORC CAPABILITIES IDENTIFIED E-4MAKE OR BREAK RANK E-5PROVE SUAVENESS E-6PROVE LEADERSHIP AWARENESS E-7POLITICAN POTENTIAL AND HARDASS ANALYSIS E-8SETS AGENDA E-9POLITICAL MUPPET OR DIE  UNTRAINED OFFICERS: ADM Socially Awkward Penguin

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Someone standing in front of the item I need Pretend to look for something else until they move

Someone standing in front of the item I need Pretend to look for something else until they move

Has drum set at home Never plays it because it's too loud and the neighbors might judge me

Has drum set at home Never plays it because it's too loud and the neighbors might judge me

Someone standing in front of the item you need Pretend to look at something else until they move

Someone standing in front of the item you need Pretend to look at something else until they move

Doesn't take off shirt because of farmers tan Has farmers tan because doesn't take off shirt

Doesn't take off shirt because of farmers tan Has farmers tan because  doesn't take off shirt

Repeatedly thanked for completing menial tasks at work struggle to find variations of "no problem"

Repeatedly thanked for completing menial tasks at work struggle to find variations of

Leave store empty handed afraid of being considered a shoplifter

Leave store empty handed afraid of being considered a shoplifter

Pulls up next to car with windows down at stop light Turns down radio so they won't judge your music taste

Pulls up next to car with windows down at stop light Turns down radio so they won't judge your music taste

signs name on father's day card includes last name

signs name on father's day card includes last name

Girl invites him up for coffee "No thanks, I can't drink coffee late at night it keeps me up"

Girl invites him up for coffee

gives wrong directions by mistake spends rest of the day filled with regret

gives wrong directions by mistake spends rest of the day filled with regret
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