for the record penguin

for the record penguin - THE REAL USA MILITARY RANKING SYSTEM. IN THE FEEL GOOD MILITARY ACCORDING TO THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF. EVERYTHING REAL PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH IS BLACK OPS. ENLISTED: E-1SCUMBAG E-2APPRENTICE SCUMBAG E-3ORC CAPABILITIES IDENTIFIED E-4MAKE OR BREAK RANK E-5PROVE SUAVENESS E-6PROVE LEADERSHIP AWARENESS E-7POLITICAN POTENTIAL AND HARDASS ANALYSIS E-8SETS AGENDA E-9POLITICAL MUPPET OR DIE  UNTRAINED OFFICERS: ADM Socially Awkward Penguin

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order food at Taco Bell at 1am Act stoned at the drive-thru window to seem normal

order food at Taco Bell at 1am Act stoned at the drive-thru window to seem normal

Clears throat before speaking Voice cracks anyway

Clears throat before speaking Voice cracks anyway

Pull up to gas pump on the wrong side of car leave the gas station

Pull up to gas pump on the wrong side of car leave the gas station

Cute girl at other table keeps staring at me realize later the tv is behind me

Cute girl at other table keeps staring at me realize later the tv is behind me

"you apologize too much" sorry

Class room attendance Rehearses saying "here" in his head

Class room attendance Rehearses saying

People want their year books signed Oh god

People want their year books signed Oh god

someone is in the front of the thing you want pretend to look at something else until they move

someone is in the front of the thing you want pretend to look at something else until they move

Sees homeless person in distance reaches in pocket and holds change to make sure it doesn't jingle when i walk by

Sees homeless person in distance reaches in pocket and holds change to make sure it doesn't jingle when i walk by

Practices order while in line still gets it wrong

Practices order while in line still gets it wrong
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