for the record penguin

for the record penguin - THE REAL USA MILITARY RANKING SYSTEM. IN THE FEEL GOOD MILITARY ACCORDING TO THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF. EVERYTHING REAL PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH IS BLACK OPS. ENLISTED: E-1SCUMBAG E-2APPRENTICE SCUMBAG E-3ORC CAPABILITIES IDENTIFIED E-4MAKE OR BREAK RANK E-5PROVE SUAVENESS E-6PROVE LEADERSHIP AWARENESS E-7POLITICAN POTENTIAL AND HARDASS ANALYSIS E-8SETS AGENDA E-9POLITICAL MUPPET OR DIE  UNTRAINED OFFICERS: ADM Socially Awkward Penguin

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Looking at crush's Facebook photos accidentally likes one from 3 years ago

Looking at crush's Facebook photos accidentally likes one from 3 years ago

tries to search facebook pics of secret crush enters her name into status bar

tries to search facebook pics of secret crush enters her name into status bar

Only seat open on bus is next to attractive girl pretends not to see and stands

Only seat open on bus is next to attractive girl pretends not to see and stands

Spills water on his crotch strategically spills more water to avoid looking like he peed himself

Spills water on his crotch  strategically spills more water to avoid looking like he peed himself

Spends 5 minutes explaining feelings to crush girl turns around " Wait, were you talking to me this whole time?"

Spends 5 minutes explaining feelings to crush girl turns around

Overhear co-worker making small talk Attempt to memorize subjects covered for use in future human interaction

Overhear co-worker making small talk Attempt to memorize subjects covered for use in future human interaction

Professor asks rhetorical question Raises hand

Professor asks rhetorical question Raises hand

water goes down the wrong pipe in class chokes quietly so no one is disturbed

water goes down the wrong pipe in class chokes quietly so no one is disturbed

Says goodbye to friends at the mall. Has to go in the same direction they do.

Says goodbye to friends at the mall.  Has to go in the same direction they do.

Cashier at coffee shop is black Orders double double rather than usual black

Cashier at coffee shop is black Orders double double rather than usual black
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